Jill Robin Payne

Is your partner’s slogan: My way or the Highway?
Is this an issue?
Who’s Right? Does it matter?

Women and men are unique creatures. As Dale Carnegie puts it, “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” Technology may be advancing however humans are “creatures of habit.” This doesn’t mean we can’t modify our behavior or be more “mindful.” When you come home does your partner tell you what to do, where to go and what not to do? When you start talking are you cut off with an immediate “no?” If that sound like your relationship, read some solutions below:

1) First step is that both of you need to be mindful.
2) For 24 hrs. both of you write down everything you say to your partner.
Then read it and ask yourself how you would react to someone who speaks and acts that way.
3) Wear a colored rubber band around your wrist to remind you to think respectfully and positive about your partner.
4) Use humor.

You’ve just come home from a long hard day and all you want to do is watch YouTube videos, scroll through Facebook, take a nap, or eat. Anything but speak and think. You’ve been home no more than a minute and your ‘woman’ says, “Honey, would you please take out the trash?” You say, “In a minute dear.” Your woman gives you an intense look.

The woman feels unheard and frustrated saying,” It needs to be done right now.” He hears an order reminding him of his mother. This type of bantering continues until the man ends up “giving in” taking out the trash begrudgingly. He hears, “If you don’t do this you will be in trouble all night.” He then huffs into his man cave for safety and shuts the door in frustration.

The woman says, “Why don’t you ever do what I ask?” The man hears the word “Why,” immediately becoming defensive and doesn’t even hear the rest of the question. The woman, being fast with her tongue, starts to cry saying, “All I ever ask from you is to help me around the house.” The man in turn feels guilty and hears that he never does anything right. Both parties become sad and hurt.

Woman: Needs to realize that the man needs time to adjust himself from work to family life. He may need some physical space to do this, whether it be his man cave or doing some ‘mindless’ activity.
Man: Needs to realize that his woman is ‘complex’ and may need to feel wanted and heard.
Studies show that the saying “Happy Wife Happy Life,” is true. Husband’s life satisfaction is heightened by their wives’ marital happiness.