- Are you married or have a partner
- Are you wanting to be heard and appreciated
- But for some reason you feel like you’re just existing
People want to be heard and appreciated. When people have been together for a while, the other person becomes “old hat.” You get used to each other and may start taking each other for granted. Not in a negative way just when something or someone is constantly available it gets “old.”
For example, when a man and a woman are sitting at home and decide “we need to engage more.” Their usual evening consisted of coming home saying “hi” to each other and then going right to the kitchen to get food. Of course once you get the food it needs to be eaten while watching “mindless” TV. So both of you sit in chairs on opposite ends of the living room, eating and watching TV mindlessly. This activity lasts of course until you go to bed. One of you may even stay up later and watch the TV, so you go to bed alone. Sometimes because of snoring or problems sleeping you may even go into a separate room. The next day you both look at each other while getting ready for work or getting on with your day. You both pass by each other yet again to say “hi” and then go about your business.
What happened to the “Positive Attention”, the passionate kisses, the laughing, it’s gone like the wind.
- Prioritize your daily life activities
- Eliminate the negative, cumbersome or unnecessary things in your day
- Find something fun that the two of you both like doing and ‘do it’
- Do a ‘change up”; doing the same old thing gets boring
- Eliminate distractions
“Change your environment to help motivate you to get you what you want and where you need to go.”
Friday evening was just like all the rest of the nights. Come home from work, your partner passes you with a “hi” and goes immediately to the Fridge for some food. He takes his time making his food which he then takes it to the living room where he turns on the TV. Then he proceeds to turning on his lap top to see what’s on the internet news. The woman says, “Pay attention to me,” He says, “Okay” and then he proceeds to leave all electronics on while attempting to partially listen to you.
The woman becomes annoyed because she feels unheard and unappreciated at the “half listening,” from her mate. She then says, “I want you to want me and talk to me.” He says, “I am,” as he looks at her and then his devices. The woman repeats herself in frustration and gets up and turns off the electronics and walks out of the room in a huff. The man gives a look of bewilderment at what just happened.
The woman says, “I am upset because you always come home and do the same thing, watch TV and don’t pay attention to me.” The man pleads his case, saying again “I am listening to you. What do you want me to do?” Then says, “I love you.” Then the two begin to watch TV together with unresolved feelings.
Woman: Needs to realize too many words confuse a man and may turn off his brain. So be direct and to the point of what you want. First and foremost state how the situation makes you ‘feel.’ Then proceed to be direct with ‘few’ words. Tell him how you want him to show you that he appreciates you. For example, “honey, I feel appreciated when you sit on the couch with me and read the newspaper to me.”
Man: Needs to realize that women are like delicate flowers that are beautiful and need steadfast attention. If neglected their soul may wither and fade.
Remember, “the triple A’s are what both men and women want: Appreciation, Acceptance, and Attitude”
“There is a difference between asking to pay attention to me versus being paid attention too. One is from the heart.”