- Are you married or have a partner?
- Love your spouse/partner?
- But for some reason just aren’t in sync.
Let me explain. You wake up in the morning smiling saying this is going to be a great day; I love my life and my spouse/partner. Then all of a sudden your spouse/partner opens their mouth and something inside of you starts to cringe. Yes, you begin to get irritated just by their voice or words. This is when it is time to get in sync.
Haven’t you ever heard, “timing is everything?” Well the same goes for when you are married or with a partner. Think of yourself going down Westheimer in Houston or any major street that is filled with traffic lights. One day you happen to get all the green lights and another day you hit all the red. How do you feel when you hit all the green lights? Great, at ease, as though you have just beat the lights. That is what we want and strive for in relationships.
Solution focused is the way to help eliminate anxiety and spice up the situation in a positive way. The problem is “what is the solution.” Well, it is different for everyone. Today a few solutions will be discussed for you to pick from.
People and therapists are always talking about your need to communicate better. What in the heck does that mean??? Well, what really needs to happen is people need to “relate” – a major aspect of this is “timing” not so much words. Think about it. If someone is in a bad mood no matter what wonderful words you say or how you say it won’t make the situation any better. Well maybe a little. This is one aspect of what we are talking about in timing.
- Read body language before relating
- Know when your partner is in their best mood in the AM or PM
- Communicate/converse when doing a ‘fun’ activity together
- Leave the scene when you’re feeling negative (please let the partner know you will be back)
- Write bullet points of what you said so you both can “see” and “hear” it
Hit “He thought; She said” to read a scenario of a couple “not in sync.” Find out what he thought she said and how they handled it.